99 steps to reclaiming your individuality Step #14

Navigating emotions, the double edged sword:

If we have been open and receptive to the scope of this project, we will have set aside preconceived notions, defensive prerequisites and affirmed to ourselves this is about discovery not change. So inasmuch, we are not concerned with negotiation, because we are not being asked to surrender anything. It is also hoped that the reader will have had the opportunity to put into practice some of the fundamental elements the previous steps have outlined. Without these steps being utilized continuing would be pointless because, like stepping stones each may be different, but each one is essential to the sequential progress of our journey.

Today we will focus on the region of our natures that presents the most challenge in our daily lives, the grouping we have agreed upon to be known as the "Hesitant natures".  Each one of us will have assembled the subset of natures we have placed in this category, they should include (as outlined in the example) the  more irrational emotions, anxieties, fears and deep seated resentments and convictions, in short we are entering the throne room of the EGO. It has often been cautioned by scholarly advocates not to approach this facet of our nature naively, which is good advise. But we are not there to challenge the authority of the King, so we should be allowed audience today. It is also hoped that we will have had an experience, where-upon having found ourselves engaged emotionally in this nature state, that we also, at any point during, actively reflected on our involvement, or questioned the emotional response, and sought to investigate its trigger. If we consciously sought to do this then we have started the process of  un-autonomization, and will over successive attempts change the process of how we consciously move in and out of these nature states. A huge awakening of our overall individual nature indeed.

Continuing on let us use for an example the emotion of "Anger" or "ANGER" or "A@#$N!@G%E#@R" !! these emotions work on the cumulative principle. Although knowing the antecedent behavior of this nature's characteristics would be valuable, this is not our intention at this time. What we are interested in is the unconscious trigger. What moves us from a state of conscious control to emotional surrender? This is where it becomes challenging, for the more we become an impartial observer, the more we witness that the terms like "You have every right to be angry" literally mean "You have every right to be angry" and not "the totally irrational behavior you just demonstrated was justified". What is critical here is to diffuse anger not suppress it. And we do this by following some very old and well documented advice "We count to ten" , "Take two" ,"Walk away". Why? It gives us a chance to regain control and move our conscious awareness to our "Neutral nature state" where we can assess, consider, and construct a path forward. Still angry, but still in control. When we collapse into a state of emotional free-fall, the only tools we have to work with are the tools within that nature state we are in. Anger escalates, or what is more often the case oscillates between a volley of anger-fear-timidity or rage, and either blows itself out, crash lands, or ends in serious upheaval. If we can diffuse this before it closes the gate and leaves us as the helpless victim of circumstance, we become an angered individual instead of a victim of an angry outburst. This is again just one more example where simple awareness alone can keep us in control and increase our control of any situation.

Seeing this from a relaxed observer state, is quite simple, enacting it when the situation arises is the challenge. The best way to condition this behavior is to practice on past events, identifying the triggers, associating the range of emotions involved, and finally rewriting the ending. Now you have a choice. And that choice can be used as your own trigger when a future event occurs. With which edge of the sword you strike with will determine your victory. But "You" will be wielding the sword, so the choice of action should be obvious.